KBW Lyrics
Here on the lyrics page you’ll find a handful of Kev’s lyrics to his hilarious songs! We will be updating this page on a regular basis - so keep checking back for new lyrics to be uploaded!
If you would like to obtain a copy of lyrics that are not currently on this page email Kristy - admin@kevfm.com and she will be more that happy to email you a copy!
Enjoy!
The Shane Warne Song
Hey GMH
The Truckies Kid
The Shane Warne Song
A cricketing legend all Australian boy
A real bloke’s bloke ‘n we all loved him for it
But he’s got a zipper problem and It’s affecting his game
So Warnie put your wanger away
Warnie put your wanger away
That pecker’s gonna get you into trouble one day
You stick to the cricket, I’ll do the rootin’ for Australia
Warnie put your wanger away, Mate
Warnie put your wanger away
(your turn)
Warnie put your wanger away, Mate
Warnie put your wanger away
Caught out drinkin’ and smokin’ and drugs mate
I’ll take care of all that you just get on with the game
And keep it in the crease where it’s supposed to be
And give them dirty bird numbers to me mates and me, mate
Asked 500 sheilas would they sleep with ya Shane
And over 75% of ‘em said, “never again”
So take a tip from Russell Crowe and do what he asked
And stick that fuckin’ phone up ya fuckin’ arse
Warnie put your wanger away
That pecker’s gonna get you into trouble one day
You stick to the cricket, I’ll do the rootin’ for Australia
Warnie put your wanger away, Mate
Warnie put your wanger away
(your turn)
Warnie put your wanger away, Mate
Warnie put your wanger away
So keep your cock in it’s box, is what I’m tryin’ to say
And stay away from pommie sheilas like that Paula Yates
She started the trend and now it seems to be catchin’
Poms fuckin’ the Aussies and keepin’ the ashes
Warnie put your wanger away
That pecker’s gonna get you into trouble one day
You stick to the cricket, I’ll do the rootin’ for Australia
Warnie put your wanger away, Mate
Warnie put your wanger away
(everybody)
Warnie put your wanger away
That pecker’s gonna get you into trouble one day
You stick to the cricket, I’ll do the rootin’ for Australia
Warnie put your wanger away, Mate
Warney put your wanger away
(your turn)
Warnie put your wanger away, Mate
Warnie put your wanger away
Hey GMH
Little while back I got thinking don’t use the ute much anymore
Should retire the old girl gracefully, I’d look beaut in a new Commodore
They told me it’d take three weeks, three weeks, pigs fuckin’ arse
Cause as soon as I signed the dotted line, the fuckin’ bullshit started
Hey GMH you cunts. Where’s me fuckin’ car
You told me it’d take three weeks, it’s been three fuckin’ months so far
I could’ve crocheted a fuckin’ Commodore by the time you cunts got started
GMH you cunts where’s me fuckin’ car
If I’d wanted to listen to bullshit
I woulda’ played one of me own CD’s
And I could’ve fertalized the fuckin’ Nullabour
With the crap you’ve fed to me
And as far as fuckin’ excuses, mate I’m a married drunk
I tell lies for a livin’, so don’t practice on me ya cunt
Hey GMH you cunts. Where’s me fuckin’ car
You told me it’d take three weeks, it’s been three fuckin’ months so far
I could’ve crocheted a fuckin’ commodore by the time you cunts got started
GMH you cunts where’s me fuckin’ car
Next time I come to see you, I’m gonna bring me mongrel kids
And let’m loose in your fuckin’ showroom while I drink ya fuckin’ piss
And when the cops com’n round up my mob and sling us out the fuckin’ door
I’ll go and do what I should’ve done, I’ll go and buy a fuckin’ Ford
Not happy mate
Hey GMH you cunts. Where’s me fuckin’ car
You told me it’d take three weeks, it’s been three fuckin’ months so far
I could’ve crocheted a fuckin’ commodore by the time you cunts got off your arse
GMH you cunts where’s me fuckin’ car
I’ll dob you in ya cunts, I’ll tell John Laws on you
He’ll kick the fuck out of you
I saw GMH suck Kevvys cock.
Not happy Mate
The Truckies Kid
He was the oil from his old mans dipstick, the sparkle on his chrome
The reason why that tough old trucker always turned his rid from home
This bloke could change a tyre between his teeth balance 10 wheel nuts on his dick
But at the risk of being called a big sissy, named his truck after his kid
That kid idolised his dad as well as he loved that giant to bits
In spite of th fact he backed his Mac and splat the cat that he got for Christmas
But his kids little mate was sleeping over tonight, his dads a truckie too
And the prayer they said beside their bed would tear the heart right out of you.
When he said!
I wanna big rig like daddy’s got I wanna big rig like his
So dear sweet baby Jesus when I’m grown up and I’m big
I wanna burn rubber like my old man I wanna big red rig like his
10/ 4 Jesus over and out, see ya, the truckies kid
And they loved it too and he took their hands and shook their hands goodnight
And that big old trucker was as light as a feather as he turned out the light
Then he went to the fridge and grabbed a beer and kicked his work boots off
Sat back and squeezed his old ladies tit and thought, there really is a god
Then he heard a noise from the young blokes room so he went up and peeked inside
And his heart nearly burst through his chest, his singlet stretched with pride
Cause their was his kid at the end of his bed grabbin’ imaginary wheel
Shuffling the gears and pumping the air brakes, imagine how it must have made him feel
When he heard him say
I wanna big rig like daddy’s got I wanna big rig like his
So dear sweet baby Jesus when I’m grown up and I’m big
I wanna burn rubber like my old man I wanna big red rig like his
10/ 4 Jesus over and out, see ya, the truckies kid
“ Come on little buddy gotta shut her all down, gotta get a little shut eye in
And where’s your little mate?” and a voice from the cupboard said “Here I am”
Then out from the cupboard stepped the other little bugger cuddling his sons teddy bear
So the truckie picked him up and gave him a hug and said, “Now what are you doing in there?”.
“Well I knew he’d be away for a while interstate, so I waited till he pulled out of site
Then I sneaked out of bed and grabbed a hold of his teddy
And crawled into the cupboard to hide
And I was about to poke the stuffing out of it like me daddy does all the time
Call around your house whenever you’re away
And fuck the arse off your missus’ while you’re gone
I wanna big rig like daddy’s got I wanna big rig like his
So dear sweet baby Jesus when I’m grown up and I’m big
I wanna burn rubber like my old man I wanna big red rig like his
10/ 4 Jesus over and out, see ya, the truckies kid
10/ 4 Jesus over and out, see ya, the truckies kid
Words and music Kevin Bloody Wilson
Copyright Both Barrels Music
